Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is a worldwide problem that cuts across cultural, religious, socio-economic and gender boundaries. It remains a far underreported problem and a culturally acceptable or ignored aspect of family and community life. The following statistics portray the national problem and give some helpful information. It impacts children as well who may end up becoming abusers or abused themselves. All information is obtained from the website of the Women's Shelter SLO

http://www.womensshelterslo.org/index.htm

Marilyn.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women, more than muggings, stranger rape, and car accidents combined.

• The United Way ranks domestic violence as the leading cause of birth defects.

• 3-4 million women are beaten by their husbands or boyfriends every year.

• A man beats his partner every 13 seconds.

• 1 out of every 2 women will be physically abused by their partner at least once.

• 4000 women and children are beaten to death every year .

• At least 25% of domestic violence victims are beaten while pregnant.

• 50% of all homeless women and children are fleeing domestic violence situations.

• 79% of spousal abuse is committed by men after the woman leaves.

• An intimate male partner murdered 42% of all female homicide victims.

• More than three million children witness acts of domestic violence every year.

• 95% of boys and 72 % of girls witnessing domestic violence will carry abuse into their own relationships.

• 1 out of 3 high school relationships includes domestic violence or rape.

• On average, a women is beaten 9 times before she placed the first call to police for help; only 7% of spousal assaults are reported to the police.

• 57% of women who are physically abused by their partners never tell anyone.

• 40% of assaults committed by a male partner on women begin during the first pregnancy; pregnant women are at twice the risk of battery.

Department of Justice Stats

Myths and Realities of Domestic Violence

Myth: The problem of domestic violence is greatly exaggerated.

Reality: National statistics reveal that every year three to four million women are beaten by their husbands or boyfriends, and every day, four die. Battery is the single most common cause of injury to women, more than auto accidents, rapes or muggings combined. Physical abuse is cited as the cause of one fourth of all suicide attempts by women. Twenty percent of visits by women to emergency rooms are the result of battering by their husbands or boyfriends.

Myth: In terms of domestic violence and spouse abuse, men and women are equally violent.

Reality: National crime survey data show that men commit 95 percent of all assaults on female spouses or girlfriends. Forty percent of all female homicide victims are killed by their husbands or boyfriends; only10 percent of male homicide victims are killed by their wives or girlfriends, and of these 7 percent were killed in self defense.

Myth: Men and women have always fought; it is natural.

Reality: There is occasional conflict in every family and relationship, but there is no need for violence. Wife beating is a crime of rage, power, and control. The batterer often thinks he has the right to control his partner through any means, even beating. Violence is never an acceptable way to solve problems.

Myth: Domestic violence only happens in the lower economic classes and minority populations.

Reality: Domestic violence occurs in families from all social racial, economic, educational, and religious backgrounds. In occurs in towns, suburbs, rural areas, and neighborhoods. Battered women with few economic resources are more visible because they seek help from public agencies and are counted in statistics. Women from middle and upper economic groups are more likely to seek help from private agencies.

Myth: Battering usually only happens once. It should be a private family matter, not a crime.

Reality: A battering incident is rarely an isolated occurrence; beatings escalate in frequency and intensity. Assault is a crime whether it is committed within or outside the family.

Myth: Battered women are masochistic and crazy; they provoke and enjoy their abuse.

Reality: Women do not provoke or deserve battering. They deserve a violence-free life. As does happen with rape, the attempt is made to blame the victim for the behavior of the attacker. Abusers commonly blame minor frustrations, alcohol and drug abuse, and the words or behavior or their partner for their battering. Their violence, however, is their choice. There are non-violent ways to deal with their anger.

A battered woman's reactions to the violence are normal, given the circumstances, and the reactions are often necessary for survival. She is not crazy. She still hopes her partner will change, and indeed, he may show remorse and there may be some good times; however, the good times and remorse happen less and less over time.

Myth: Men who abuse women are mentally ill and not responsible for their actions.

Reality: Battering is a learned behavior from childhood experiences and from social messages condoning violence against women. Psychological tests have repeatedly shown that men who abuse women do not differ from the "normal" male. Lenore Walker's study showed that batterers had learned as children that violence was an appropriate response to anger. Abusers are not out of control, but are trying to get control over their partner with demands, threats, and physical abuse. They deny and minimize the violence, and blame their partners for their violence. Their violent behavior will continue as long as society continues to refuse to threat their violence as the serious crime that it is and impose serious consequences.

Myth: Alcohol and drug abuse cause domestic violence.

Reality: Alcohol and drug abuse do not cause domestic violence. The violence may be more severe, however, when alcohol or drugs are involved. Alcohol and drugs may also intensify existing violent behavior. Rates of simultaneously occurring domestic violence and alcohol abuse vary from as low as 25 percent in some studies, to as high as 80 percent in other studies.

Many batterers do not abuse alcohol or drugs and many alcohol or drug abusers do not batter. Chemical dependency treatment will not cure battering; the two problems need to be dealt with separately. The alcohol abuse rate for abused women is the same as that of the general female population, 7 to 14 percent. Their alcohol abuse does not justify their being battered.

Myth: Batterers cannot change.

Reality: The criminal justice system can hold batterers accountable for their actions and court order the choice of jail or counseling. Men who batter can learn to take responsibility for their own behavior and can learn non-violent ways to act and communicate. The programs for men who batter, however, are only as effective as the willingness of the batterer to change.

Myth: Once the battering stops, everything will be okay.

Reality: There is also psychological, emotional, and sexual abuse which often continues even when the battering has stopped. These behaviors must also stop before the healing can start.

Women who are abused feel fear, depression, anxiety, helplessness, anger and embarrassment. A lowered self-esteem can develop from constant insults and put downs by her abuser. She is often isolated by her partner and has lost touch with friends and family. She may be afraid that she will be blamed by them for the violence. The support of friends, family, and the community is necessary for her to recognize her strengths and to believe that she is a good person who deserves a violence-free life. Recovery from abuse is a process and can take a long time.

Myth: Domestic violence is only a family problem.

Reality: Domestic violence is still viewed by many as just a family problem, even though the effects are serious. It is a crime that can result in serious injury or death. Social problems such as alcoholism, drug addiction, juvenile delinquency, suicide, and runaway children are increased by violence in the home. Businesses lose $3 to 5 billion dollars each year because of absenteeism resulting from abuse, and $100 million in medical costs. Communities spend millions of dollars every year on intervention. Society suffers when individuals and families are destroyed by domestic violence.

Referenced from: Annotated Bibliogrpahy on "Spouse Abuse. Wife Abuse The Facts. Response to Violence in the Family and Sexual Assault." National Coalition Against Domestic Violence Report. April 1985 National Woman Abuse Prevention Project. 1989. Washington DC.